News From North Korea

Pyongyang - A dozen members of a small farming community in Sinhung County were awarded The People's Medal of Majestic Inverse Freedom. The farmers were recognized for having turned in at least twenty-five of their fellow citizens for various offenses committed against the Dear Leader. These arrests come at a key time of the year for the DPRK as the the harsh North Korean winter typically results in a large workforce reduction within the forced labor camps. Ri Jung-Keun was the winner in Sinhung County this year with a total of 42 traitorous cowards turned in. As the district winner Mr. Jung-Keun will move on to regionals next week. He will also receive a cup of rice and a used bicycle that Revered Regional Commander Si "Ace" Joon-Ho described as "a fixer upper that has some real potential."