My very good friend and I discuss baseball:
Stephanie - So as background noise, I put on game 7 of the 2004 ACLS. HUGE mistake. I've been crying for an hour. Is it bad that I can recite the commentary, and know when the bat will hit the ball like a downbeat in my favorite song?
Allen - Ugh, Baseball. "It's the 3rd day into the 7th inning and not one goddamned thing has happened. Wait! Wait! Trainers are on the field... apparently the Center Fielder is suffering from Trench Foot after not having moved since it rained three weeks ago..."
Allen - Ugh, Baseball. "It's the 3rd day into the 7th inning and not one goddamned thing has happened. Wait! Wait! Trainers are on the field... apparently the Center Fielder is suffering from Trench Foot after not having moved since it rained three weeks ago..."
Stephanie - Allen: this makes me forget that I love you.
Allen - "The Sun has just used up the last of it's hydrogen. It's time to move to the bottom of the 8th for this season's first game out of 5x10^27 games left to go till the World Series.
Allen - "The Sun has just used up the last of it's hydrogen. It's time to move to the bottom of the 8th for this season's first game out of 5x10^27 games left to go till the World Series.
Stephanie - I've just lit your birthday present on fire.
Allen - You set yourself on fire!?
Stephanie - In the fashion of Tibetan monks in protest. I cannot stand for an assault on the national pass-time.
Allen - Past time, way past it's time. Comparatively, golf looks like a rave.
Stephanie - You have to appreciate the dance, Allen. It's not for simps with short attention spans. That's football.
Allen - What dance? People move when they dance. "And some dude throws the ball at the guy with a stick for the 1000th time while a couple other guys watch and............ jack shit happens again." Wait, wait, he'll throw the ball again. Maybe this time... fuck it, I'm going to go see if the grass has done something radical in the back yard, like grown.
Stephanie - Oh I'm sorry! Run 3 yards and fall is exciting?!
Allen - It's not just football Steph, competitive dishwashing would be more fun to watch.
Allen - You set yourself on fire!?
Stephanie - In the fashion of Tibetan monks in protest. I cannot stand for an assault on the national pass-time.
Allen - Past time, way past it's time. Comparatively, golf looks like a rave.
Stephanie - You have to appreciate the dance, Allen. It's not for simps with short attention spans. That's football.
Allen - What dance? People move when they dance. "And some dude throws the ball at the guy with a stick for the 1000th time while a couple other guys watch and............ jack shit happens again." Wait, wait, he'll throw the ball again. Maybe this time... fuck it, I'm going to go see if the grass has done something radical in the back yard, like grown.
Stephanie - Oh I'm sorry! Run 3 yards and fall is exciting?!
Allen - It's not just football Steph, competitive dishwashing would be more fun to watch.
Stephanie - You're watching it wrong.
Allen - Yeah, you're probably right. I've always tried doing it while awake.
Stephanie - GODDAMN IT ALLEN!
Allen - CAPS LOCK!!!
Stephanie - Socialist.
Allen - Fascist.
Stephanie - Jesus would have played baseball, just not Friday night games or Saturdays.
Allen - Contrary to popular belief, Jesus was not crucified. He was sentenced to watch a triple header between Pittsburgh and Kansas City.
Allen - Yeah, you're probably right. I've always tried doing it while awake.
Stephanie - GODDAMN IT ALLEN!
Allen - CAPS LOCK!!!
Stephanie - Socialist.
Allen - Fascist.
Stephanie - Jesus would have played baseball, just not Friday night games or Saturdays.
Allen - Contrary to popular belief, Jesus was not crucified. He was sentenced to watch a triple header between Pittsburgh and Kansas City.
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